Thursday, May 11, 2006
Remembering Chinese New Year - Ten years ago
What does Chinese New Year mean to you? For many of us, it is a joyous occasion for celebration and family reunion. Additionally, for me, it also holds some special memories.
Ten years ago, fifteen days before Chinese New Year and due to deliver to my first born in two months, I received a call. “Your grandma is admitted to hospital. She has trouble breathing,” my mum sobbed over the phone. And there started a full month’s ordeal in the Intensive Care Unit for my beloved grandma before she departed.
Today I would like to relate the story of my maternal grandmother and the valuable lessons she had taught me.
Grandma – younger days
Grandma was a strong willed lady.
Born in Canton, China in 1908, she voyaged with her parents to Singapore in her early teens, worked initially in a plantation and then married at age 16, in a typical match-made fashion, to the son of a fairly-well-to-do factory owner.
Her life would have been blissful if not for the disruption of the Japanese war. Her husband, that is, my grandpa, was recruited to work on the infamous Death Railway in Thailand. There began her second journey to a faraway place, this time by rail with five young children in tow. Life in the camp was simple and harsh, but in her true plucky spirit, she survived and even started an entrepreneurial service of mending other people’s clothes with the thread and cloth that she had lugged along. Had she lived today, she might have won “The Entrepreneur of the Year” award. But payment was not in cash but in kind, in the form of more rice, vegetables or if you are in luck, meat!
Ironically, it was the aftermath of the war after the Japanese surrender that caused grim hardship. On returning to Singapore, my mother then aged six, cried buckets of tears as she witnessed her younger sister being carried away for adoption before her own eyes. She almost suffered the same sad fate herself. Grandma’s only son was forced to follow his grandparents back to homeland China and was never seen again until adulthood some thirty years later. As a mother myself, I shudder at the agony of separation from one’s child. Then Grandpa turned to opium – a habit he couldn’t kick to his early death – which was why I never got to know him and today’s topic is about Grandma and not Grandpa!
Indeed, fate has given my grandma a raw deal but never did she succumb to her woes.
In her sixties
That was her early life as recounted firsthand from grandma herself and from my mother. My own contact with her began the day I was born. She lived with my family, helping my mother take care of her 3 children. In her sixties then, she was fiercely independent as well as cheerful and sprightly for her age. She walked around the neighborhood, taking the stairs instead of the lift for exercise and made many friends in the process. She washed her own clothes by hand, even when we had washing machines. When she had her gallstones removed in an operation, her recovery was swift and she was commended by the nurses for hopping out of bed faster than patients half her age.
Yes she was caring in her many ways. An early riser, she made our morning drinks for us children – a task she carried out even up to our adulthood. Her once-a-week barley drink is sorely missed and a tradition I try unsuccessfully to emulate today. She made funny actions and told us her own personal stories to cheer us up when we were down. Her trademark laughter was contagious and I can still visualize her many comical expressions on her face.
The final battle
Life with her was far from boring and brought us endless joy. Till sadly at age 86, disaster struck in the form of a stroke which left her paralyzed on her left side of her body. It was doubly painful for her as an active person to be confined to wheelchair and bed. Though she remained cheerful, it was distressing to see her gradual deterioration over a two-year battle.
But even at the final stage, she timed her exit not too early not too late. She left us after 15 days of Chinese New Year, as if mindful that deaths were inauspicious during this period. She gave me, her pregnant granddaughter ample time to give birth a month later. Again Chinese taboos meant that events of birth and death should be spaced a month or more apart. If not, my mother couldn’t take care of me after child birth. And that would spell sure disaster for me as a first-time mother! Hence, deep in my heart, I am grateful that my grandma had, as always, kept our interests in mind, even to her last breath.
Her teaching.
Grandma had demonstrated her courage in facing up to adversity. To resign to her fate was never her philosophy. She chose to stay strong and keep a positive spirit. She chose to live life fearlessly and meaningfully for herself and for her loved ones.
Ten years have passed. During spring-cleaning early this year, my favorite photo of my smiling grandma, standing next to me, was taken down from the wall and junked – for it had faded beyond recognition. But my everlasting memory of my beloved grandmother will eternally remain. As will her precious lessons imparted. Friends, do cherish your loved ones and like Grandma, you can also live life to the fullest!
29 March 2006
Ten years ago, fifteen days before Chinese New Year and due to deliver to my first born in two months, I received a call. “Your grandma is admitted to hospital. She has trouble breathing,” my mum sobbed over the phone. And there started a full month’s ordeal in the Intensive Care Unit for my beloved grandma before she departed.
Today I would like to relate the story of my maternal grandmother and the valuable lessons she had taught me.
Grandma – younger days
Grandma was a strong willed lady.
Born in Canton, China in 1908, she voyaged with her parents to Singapore in her early teens, worked initially in a plantation and then married at age 16, in a typical match-made fashion, to the son of a fairly-well-to-do factory owner.
Her life would have been blissful if not for the disruption of the Japanese war. Her husband, that is, my grandpa, was recruited to work on the infamous Death Railway in Thailand. There began her second journey to a faraway place, this time by rail with five young children in tow. Life in the camp was simple and harsh, but in her true plucky spirit, she survived and even started an entrepreneurial service of mending other people’s clothes with the thread and cloth that she had lugged along. Had she lived today, she might have won “The Entrepreneur of the Year” award. But payment was not in cash but in kind, in the form of more rice, vegetables or if you are in luck, meat!
Ironically, it was the aftermath of the war after the Japanese surrender that caused grim hardship. On returning to Singapore, my mother then aged six, cried buckets of tears as she witnessed her younger sister being carried away for adoption before her own eyes. She almost suffered the same sad fate herself. Grandma’s only son was forced to follow his grandparents back to homeland China and was never seen again until adulthood some thirty years later. As a mother myself, I shudder at the agony of separation from one’s child. Then Grandpa turned to opium – a habit he couldn’t kick to his early death – which was why I never got to know him and today’s topic is about Grandma and not Grandpa!
Indeed, fate has given my grandma a raw deal but never did she succumb to her woes.
In her sixties
That was her early life as recounted firsthand from grandma herself and from my mother. My own contact with her began the day I was born. She lived with my family, helping my mother take care of her 3 children. In her sixties then, she was fiercely independent as well as cheerful and sprightly for her age. She walked around the neighborhood, taking the stairs instead of the lift for exercise and made many friends in the process. She washed her own clothes by hand, even when we had washing machines. When she had her gallstones removed in an operation, her recovery was swift and she was commended by the nurses for hopping out of bed faster than patients half her age.
Yes she was caring in her many ways. An early riser, she made our morning drinks for us children – a task she carried out even up to our adulthood. Her once-a-week barley drink is sorely missed and a tradition I try unsuccessfully to emulate today. She made funny actions and told us her own personal stories to cheer us up when we were down. Her trademark laughter was contagious and I can still visualize her many comical expressions on her face.
The final battle
Life with her was far from boring and brought us endless joy. Till sadly at age 86, disaster struck in the form of a stroke which left her paralyzed on her left side of her body. It was doubly painful for her as an active person to be confined to wheelchair and bed. Though she remained cheerful, it was distressing to see her gradual deterioration over a two-year battle.
But even at the final stage, she timed her exit not too early not too late. She left us after 15 days of Chinese New Year, as if mindful that deaths were inauspicious during this period. She gave me, her pregnant granddaughter ample time to give birth a month later. Again Chinese taboos meant that events of birth and death should be spaced a month or more apart. If not, my mother couldn’t take care of me after child birth. And that would spell sure disaster for me as a first-time mother! Hence, deep in my heart, I am grateful that my grandma had, as always, kept our interests in mind, even to her last breath.
Her teaching.
Grandma had demonstrated her courage in facing up to adversity. To resign to her fate was never her philosophy. She chose to stay strong and keep a positive spirit. She chose to live life fearlessly and meaningfully for herself and for her loved ones.
Ten years have passed. During spring-cleaning early this year, my favorite photo of my smiling grandma, standing next to me, was taken down from the wall and junked – for it had faded beyond recognition. But my everlasting memory of my beloved grandmother will eternally remain. As will her precious lessons imparted. Friends, do cherish your loved ones and like Grandma, you can also live life to the fullest!
29 March 2006
# posted by CME @ 9:56 PM 
